Does it ever feel like homeschooling is your whole life? As homeschool moms we pour our hearts and souls into our homeschool. Between researching how to homeschool or finding the perfect curriculum by pouring over curriculum reviews, homeschooling can quickly become what we are all about. We pursue excellence for the sake of our kids and that is a high calling. If no one has told you this today, you are doing great things on behalf of your kids.
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While it’s important to pursue excellence as a homeschool mom, it’s also important to be an individual outside of homeschooling. We need to remember to build ourselves up as individuals as we do the work of building up our kids.
Let’s explore ways to navigate the homeschool life without losing your individuality.
1. Build Dual Identities as a Homeschool Mom
It’s important to hold onto dual identities as a homeschool mom. Yes, it sounds weird like something that would be the topic of a self-help book. Hear me out though.
Eventually our kids will finish homeschooling. It’s as sure as the sun rising in the morning and setting in the evening. And it is healthy for them to eventually break away and find their own identities apart from their parents. This means you did your job well.
If your whole life and identity are wrapped up in homeschooling, what happens to you when you are no longer homeschooling? Will you feel like you are wandering? Or worse yet, will you feel like you are without purpose?
Let’s avoid those feelings altogether! Whether your kids are in kindergarten or you are about to graduate your final homeschooler, set yourself up now for success. Be proud of yourself as a homeschool mom, but find other interests and accomplishments to be proud of too. Build a dual identity.
Balancing the dual identities of who you are as a homeschool mom and who you are as a whole person is essential.
2. Rediscover a Passion or Find a New One
Do you remember what you liked to do before you were a mom? For me it was music, theology, inner city missions work, and working in healthcare. Back when I was in my twenties I figured I would go back to those things after I raised my kids.
But now in my forties, I have grown and changed and I’m not the same person I was in my twenties. I still love music and studying theology, but prefer the country over the city and will probably never work in healthcare again.
I never saw myself as a writer. Although writing comes naturally to me and always has, I never saw myself writing professionally. This is exactly what I am doing now, and people pay me to do it. Sometimes it feels kind of crazy.
You might have had a creer you loved, passions you were pursuing and you may want to go back to those things. But you may not want to and that’s okay too. It might be time to find new interests and that is awesome. I would encourage you to find interests outside of being a homeschool mom. Allow yourself to grow and change. Look for new opportunities to pursue. You might be surprised what finds you as you in the process.
3. Practice Self-Care for Homeschool Moms
Let me say this loud and clear so the people in the back can hear me: Self-care is not selfish! Often when we hear the term self-care we immediately paint a picture of ourselves sitting in a spa, sipping some sort of fizzy beverage with a sicky green mask adorning our face. Oh, and don’t forget the cucumber eye treatments.
What do cucumbers do for your eyes anyway?
While a day of pampering can be a way to care for yourself, it’s not really what normal self-care looks like. Self-care is practical, small day to day practices that help us build up our whole selves; mind, body, and spirit.
Someone once told me that she thought working out was selfish because it takes time away from the family. Really?!?! Being sick also takes time away from your family. Creating a practical fitness routine is an excellent way to practice self-care and it sets a great example for your kids.
Here is what a practical self-care routine may look like:
- Spend a few minutes before you get out of bed in the morning reading, praying or even scrolling through social media on your phone. Bonus if you do this with a cup of coffee in your hand. The point is to have a few minutes to be by yourself and be quiet before the craziness of the day begins.
- Do some sort of physical activity or exercise that you enjoy. Maintaining a healthy body is something that I am extremely passionate about. I am also passionate about not doing exercise that you hate. Do you know how many people tell me they can’t get fit because they don’t like running? Then don’t. Find something you enjoy doing and spend thirty minutes on your health.
- Eat healthy food. I understand that budgets get in the way and we think that we need to cook separate meals for our family if we want to eat healthy. But I will tell you this, it really isn’t that expensive to eat real whole foods, and your picky eaters will learn to eat well too. Nourishing food is good for everyone and it’s an important part of self care.
- Take a break. Maybe I should call this one, give the kids screen time. As an introvert, this one is so important to me. This was especially important when my kids were little. I needed an hour in the afternoon to chill and decompress. My kids enjoyed getting to watch a show in the afternoon. Sometimes in life we have to make compromises, and while screen time is less than ideal, it provided the break I needed to continue being with my kids all day.
The demands of homeschooling can leave little time for self-care, but it’s essential (not selfish) to prioritize your well-being. Caring for yourself now is an investment in your future self. It is what will enable you to pursue interests or chase grandkids later on. A healthy and balanced mom will also contribute to a positive homeschool environment and will help you to not lose yourself in the process.
4. Build a Support System
It’s not just your kids that need socialization! You need it too. Connecting with other moms is a fantastic way to share experiences and gain support. Join a bookclub, attend events (without kids if possible), or participate in online communities to foster relationships with like-minded individuals. Sharing your challenges and triumphs with others who understand the journey can be empowering and remind you that you’re not alone.
Several years ago I found myself in a place where I realized I needed more mom friends. My husband was traveling for work and it seemed like he was gone all the time. I saw a bookclub advertised in a local homeschool group and decided I should just jump in.
Without knowing any of the moms in the book club, I found a babysitter and joined. I didn’t like the book we were reading and some of the moms were not my type. But years later I can look back and see how beneficial that experience was.
Some of my closest friends now came from that book club. We still meet monthly to discuss books, and other topics. And while we are all homeschool moms, we engage in conversations that have nothing to do with homeschooling. It’s always nice to know that even after years of being home with my kids, I am capable of engaging in adult conversations.
However you choose to build a support system, be intentional about making mom friends. I will always recommend finding a book club or starting one. Books make you a more interesting and well rounded person, and it gives you a common interests to discuss as you are getting to know new people. Win-win!
Books I am Enjoying Reading:
5. Engage in Continuous Learning
Homeschooling isn’t just for the kids – it’s an opportunity for moms to engage in continuous learning as well. Get creative with what you want to learn. This doesn’t have to look like academic subjects (but it can if that’s your thing).
Most adults hear words like continuing education and think of college classes or certifications. But you don’t need to learn for the sake of pursuing a degree or certificate. Learn because you are interested in something and it is good for you. Think of it as training your mind.
I love learning and gaining knowledge so this is my favorite tip of all. What learning looks like for me right now is:
- Marketing Classes on Hubspot (free)
- Learning all things blogging, copywriting and social media managing (YouTube)
- Learning Hebrew, not because it’s practical but because it is challenging (DuoLingo and Hebrew Workbooks)
- Health Coaching Certifications (NASM, definitely not free)
There are many free and paid resources you can take advantage of to continue your own education. It all depends on what is realistic for you right now. Think outside the box and get creative with what you want to learn.
Celebrating Achievements
Take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate your own achievements, not just those of your kids. Whether it’s successfully navigating a challenging subject or finding a creative solution to a homeschooling obstacle, recognizing your accomplishments will boost your confidence and reinforce your identity beyond homeschooling
Final Thoughts on Navigating the Homeschool Mom Life
While being a homeschool mom is undoubtedly a significant aspect of your life, it’s crucial to remember that it doesn’t define you entirely. Embracing dual identities, rediscovering your passions, prioritizing self-care, building a support system, and engaging in continuous learning are all essential steps in navigating the homeschooling journey while maintaining a strong sense of self. By taking care of yourself, you’ll be better equipped to provide a nurturing and enriching homeschooling experience for your children.
